HELP, I’M SCARED TO GO SHOPPING
A LETTER FOR THE GIRL WHOSE ANXIETY SPIKES WHEN SHE THINKS ABOUT DRESS SHOPPING
Dear Bride-to-Be,
I completely relate to the nail-biting, nightmare-inducing anxiety that can come with trying on dresses in full display. It feels daunting: a culmination of the things you’ve dreamt of, while colliding with the feedback you most dread. Our bodies are sacred, and sensitive. And even those of us who’ve loved wedding gowns our whole lives might be scared to see what they look on us, in all our unique forms.
It’s normal to be nervous - but I want you to know it won’t be as bad as you imagine. Though wedding dresses are notoriously overpriced, they do have their cost for a reason. They are made with high quality fabric and thoughtfully designed for women’s bodies. My experience was finding that quality does impact how a dress looks, how it drapes on your body, how polished it appears. The quality of wedding dresses is high and so I hope you give it an honest go before pre-determining how you will feel.
But if it is more the voices around you than the dresses you fear, I offer you my deepest empathy. Please know that regardless of what ill-timed comments come your way, you are beautiful. You’ve been chosen and are so loved that someone wants to marry you! Just how you are. I also ask you to consider if there is a moment, with subtlety and grace, where you can reach out to the person whose judgement you fear and tell them you need gentle words. If it is safe to do so, share how vulnerable you feel and give them the opportunity to be a champion, rather than a critic.
Some practical advice: Wear comfortable clothes. I had no idea how taxing it is on the body to go in and out of dozens of dresses of varying texture and weight. Wear nude underwear. This may seem obvious, but don’t forget. Tell your stylist what you are most excited about and what you are most nervous about trying on. She is a professional and will likely be able to offer helpful advice and point you in the right direction.
Lastly, be open minded. Most of us have never worn a full on gown before - much less in white. You might be surprised at what stands out. And if you don’t cry, that doesn’t mean it isn’t the one. Can you picture yourself walking down the aisle? Does it make you smile? Do you imagine twirling in it all night long? Then, no tears necessary.
Best of luck. Hold your head up high! Be open minded. Have fun!
xx Leah
